I can, with you.

I can be strong,

powerful,

and confident.

I can be at peace,

filled with joy,

and full of life.

Forever.

I can be beautiful.

I can be loved.

I can have a purpose

and I can make you proud.

At least I can

with you.

Because, really,

I can’t.

Not alone.

But you can.

And you help me.

Because you love me.

Because you MADE me.

With you, I can.

I can.

I can.

I can do all this through Christ who strengthens me. Philipians 4:13

Wish

I’ve reached a place

where my instinct to wish is gone.

Not because I have stopped

dreaming

striving

and hoping for my future,

but because I see the futility.

Why wish upon a star

when I can call on its creator?

Questions and Reliance

What am I going to do?

How can I discern what you want

and not what I want

or what they want?

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know how to decide.

I wish you’d tell me plainly.

Give me a prophet

or a vision

or a dream.

This is a petrifying life choice

and it might not even be what you want for me.

But is it ever something you don’t want?

This is your clear commandment.

I have this opportunity to teach and be taught.

Could it ever be a bad decision?

I’m terrified.

Terrified to go

and terrified to stay.

I’m banking on your for clarity and logistics.

I’m banking on you for stability and strength.

I’m banking on you.

Bring me into Light

John 3:19-21

New International Version (NIV)

19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

Why do I refuse your love in the depths of my despair?
Time and time again I diffuse the turmoil in my heart by inflicting turmoil on my body,
trying to fight fire with fire
and heal pain with pain.
I know your embrace is what will save me,
but the revolting habits that spring from my dying flesh are forever hindering me from accepting your love.
Rescue my bleeding soul from this body that lives in evil’s shadow.
Burn away my dark, destructive urges
with the light of your love.


I want to seek you in the darkness,
and stop shielding my heart from your light.
I want to be more than a cockroach that runs form the morning.
I want the power to, in the midst of my darkest hour,
choose the sunrise.